At first I wondered why anyone would want a private Ayahuasca ceremony? I wondered if it would be a good idea to do it in the first place, because one day one of my self love teachers told me that the participants who wanted private ceremonies it was because of their “ego” not wanting to share space with others or not wanting to face themselfs expressing their emotions in front of others, which at that moment in my life made sense to me. But I have been walking hand in hand with Abuelita Ayahuasca for a couple of years now and maybe I will always find her ways incomprehensible and unexpected, however, I chosed to trust.
Then I agreed to do the first private or individual ceremony for a beautiful woman from USA, she explained to me that she would prefer to be alone to be able to live and feel her process without having to take care of others. My vision and my perspective of why a person wants a private ceremony had transformed for two reasons, the first is that the retreats have taught me how vulnerable we can be when we are in our process with the medicine because our emotions are at the surface. The second reason is because of my teacher, Amina, well she doesn’t like to be called a teacher, she has taught me that doing the ceremonies with loving care for each participant helped them to go through their process feeling safe and secure, so we di it and it was such aincredible experience.
Private ceremonies have taught me about intimacy, how beautiful and inexplicable is the intimacy between the spirit of the medicine and the one who is receiving it. Every person who has come for a private ceremony has experienced not only what they need to feel, see or release but also they know that every icaro, every musical note, every silence, every being in that sacred space is dedicated and devoted to celebrate this ceremony, to the ceremony that is life.
I learn with them, I laugh with them, I love with them, I cry with them, I celebrate with them, I am grateful to them for allowing me to be part of their new beginning, for trusting me to take that step, grateful to the medicine of Mother Ayahuasca, who guides me in the mystery of life.
With Love
Annie
